I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
