i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
