I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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