summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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