i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
