epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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