my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
