Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
