woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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