Don't you send me to vm
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
