No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
