fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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