Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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