awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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