I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
