I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
