I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
