Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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