apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
