somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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