Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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