glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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