Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
