don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
