Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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