No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
