Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
