I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize