you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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