It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
