Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
