we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
