What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
