The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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