He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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