listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
