My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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