Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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