3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is Oprah even human
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
