You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
