ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
