It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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