I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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