if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
