Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
