so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
