omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
