how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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