Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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