Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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