I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
should my penis look like a turkey
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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