I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
