come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My cat gives me a boner
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
