After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
