i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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