Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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