chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
