You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
