I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
