I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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