You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I look better un-naked...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
