Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
